Bringing Life to the Fox
by XanderB
Summary: Naruto is having trouble staying faithful to Sasuke when he has been gone for so long and another raven is taking his place in his absence. Naruto can't keep living like a dead man. Anal, Angst, Language, M/M, Oral, Other, Violence, WAFF, Yaoi
1. One: The Crimson Cardinal

Bringing Life to the Fox

One: The Crimson Cardinal

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Sai/Naruto

Warnings: Lemon, yaoi, swearing, angst, violence, some oocness, waff, etc. Don't like, don't read.

~Lyrics~ Song called "Not Tonight" by Tegan and Sara

~Love, pull your sore ribs in  
I will pull your tangles out  
In the back of your car  
I feel like I have traveled nowhere~

(Sai POV)

I watched him as he trained, his muscles straining to keep up with his spirit. He was sweating and his face was red, his platinum hair matted to his skull with the perspiration. He worked so hard, trying so desperately to make himself stronger, strong enough to bring the Uchiha back. It was not so long ago that I was supposed to kill the insufferable man. And by Kami, I wished I had succeeded. It was of course, his fault that Naruto ran himself ragged hoping to bring him back. The idiot Uchiha didn't even want to come back.

Naruto drove himself to exhaustion on a regular basis, training day in and day out, pushing himself to the brink of his physical limits and his sanity. I thought it was futile. Sasuke wasn't coming back, not unless the blond dragged him back unconscious and even then, I got the distinct impression that he would just as soon leave again. Naruto just couldn't stop himself from trying. He wanted to keep searching, keep following pointless leads until he brought the raven-haired man back or killed himself trying. It was irrational, and stupid, but I understood. I wasn't the most emotionally in tune individual, but I could tell that Naruto was utterly enamored with the youngest Uchiha.

Perhaps, the others had yet to realize what exactly it was that was driving the blond demon vessel, but I understood clearly. I hated to think of it. It was an emotion I had never felt to my knowledge and I wasn't particularly sure how to feel it, but I didn't like the thought of Naruto feeling it for Sasuke. The others, if asked, would probably deny the possibility of such a notion, but I knew better. Love was the only logical explanation for Naruto's desperation, his determination.

It had intrigued me at first and I had observed him, seeing him fight until he could hardly stand, sleep it off and begin all over again. And eventually, I began thinking that the Uchiha must have been some kind of imbecile for ever leaving the beautiful blond at all. It made my body heat and I became irritated, like I wanted to hit something when I thought about the injustice of it. Just how much did the traitor take Naruto for granted? Did he think that no one would ever take an interest in him, so he could just leave him all alone to be picked back up later when it was convenient for the arrogant man? How often had he used Naruto's innocent intentions and taken advantage of the naive fox container?

I glanced back at the blond from the sidelines, just gazed at him while he sweat and swore, spewing colourful profanities at nothing in particular. I would have found it amusing if it had been for any other reason, but the Uchiha's return. It was not the first time that I had watched him like this; in fact it was one of many times that I had watched him. And this time as with several other more frequent times, I felt the incredibly overwhelming urge to hold him, to hug him tightly to my breast and make him forget about the other man. His knuckles bled as his punches blurred, staining the beaten logs crimson. I sighed, wishing that he would stop, stop fighting, stop searching, and stop hurting himself. But he wouldn't, even with tears in his cerulean eyes, he wouldn't quit, not until he'd worn himself out to the point that he couldn't stand anymore.

He would run himself down until he collapsed or fainted and that was why I was there, just waiting and watching for that very moment. He'd exhaust himself and I would be there to bring him home, like I had so many times before. Whether he had realized it or not, it had become a common occurrence and I almost looked forward to it now, not that I enjoyed watching him destroying himself, but because it was the only way for him to find the release he so direly needed and it was the only time he could be free. And I wanted to be there to bear witness to it.

I heaved a sigh of exasperation that I was sure he would have heard had the wind not stolen it. My chest ached as I watched him. He was always worse after we had returned from a failed attempt to retrieve the lost member of team seven, the one I was supposedly replacing. He smiled less with every day, month, year that came to pass without the Uchiha. And no matter how badly I wanted to take his place or how hard I tried to replace him in Naruto's world, I couldn't.

Naruto loved him and therefore could not let him go. He still smiled to keep up appearances for the others, but they were cheap imitations of the real ones he had graced us with in the past. The life in his eyes was slowly draining away, leaving nothing but a husk of the original version of the gorgeous blond. I sometimes wondered how long it would be before he would break completely. I just hoped that I would be there when he did. I knew that I would be the one to pick up the pieces when he finally broke, his fragile heart shattering. And the others either didn't know, or they did, but couldn't figure out how to help.

Dusk was falling swiftly, forcefully shoving the reluctant sun below the horizon and preparing to plunge Konoha into the darkness of night. I knew that he would finish soon. He'd been at it for hours already and his body would be protesting, warning him that it was wearing thin. When it finally happened, he'd be too exhausted to walk himself home and I would be there, waiting. I exhaled again, glancing up at the trees in thought.

A crimson cardinal caught my eye. I peered at it curiously. It stood all alone on a tree branch, staring at the scarlet feathers laying in a heap at the foot of the massive oak. I cocked my head. The carcass of the other bird was old, months probably and yet he remained. He lingered, mourning his lost lover and I was reminded of my tragic friend; if only he were so lucky. If Sasuke were dead, wouldn't it be easier to mourn him? If he were dead, Naruto could live. Besides, wasn't it easier to mourn one who is dead than one who had abandoned you?

Another, smaller cardinal joined the first on the branch, sidling closer ever so slowly until it was able to brush its vibrant crimson feathers against those of the mourning male. He glanced at the petite female briefly before moving away from her. A smile crept onto my face as she persisted, following after him, determined to gain his attention. She was courting him, pursuing him whether he liked it or not. He rejected her several times, but she was not so easily deterred.

After many attempts, she stood watching him as he eyed her right back. She cocked her head in question just a little and I was surprised when he took one last glance at his dead lover before he flew closer to her. He had miraculously decided that he was ready to stop pining for his lost love. I wondered silently if there would come a time when Naruto would do the same. I wanted so much to help him to forget the Uchiha, but I didn't know how to go about doing so. How did one go about replacing a past lover?

I looked back towards the melancholy blond. He was no longer moving about, but laying flat on his back upon the cool grass, his arms and legs flailed wide and his chest heaving as he breathed heavily. His eyes were closed and I thought briefly that maybe he had fainted. He hadn't. I kept an enigmatic grin on my lips as I walked leisurely over to his prone form.

He didn't even twitch as I reached for him. I held out a pale hand to him in the twilight. He didn't open his eyes as he reached up to grasp my outstretched hand instinctively, blindly clasping my fingers with his own calloused hand. I pulled him to his feet, allowing him to lean on me as much as he needed to.

I didn't quite understand why I felt warm when he pressed in close and wrapped a steadying arm around my neck. Everywhere that his heated skin touched mine tingled and uncontrollable shivers spread out from the point of contact. I wrapped my own arm around his slim waist and guided him along the path back to his apartment. I knew the way with my eyes closed. It had become a part of the routine after all.

He limped slightly, his unoccupied arm clenching around his midsection. He'd overdone it again. He cradled his sore ribs gently as we made it into his home. I knew my way around the tiny apartment, easily maneuvering around furniture and other things. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but I knew what his reaction would be. It was always the same. He would refuse. It was one of the reasons I had learned his apartment so well. He'd made me swear long ago, when this routine had just begun, that I would never tell anyone about what went on during these occurrences and I was to be the only one to help him. So the routine had started.

I set him down on the sagging olive-coloured sofa softly, flicking on just a dull lamp before running him a bath. I'd been doing it far too often than could be considered healthy and it was getting progressively worse and worse as time went on. Another year had come to pass as midnight slid by and Sasuke had still not returned. I didn't think he ever would, but I kept my opinion to myself.

I ran the water for his bath, adding fragrant oils and setting towels out nearer to the tub's edge before going back out to the sparsely furnished living room to retrieve my friend. He hadn't really moved since I'd placed him on the elderly couch and when I came back to get him, his eyes finally fluttered open, revealing the tired crystal blue irises and the pain he'd been holding in for so long. He flashed me a grateful smile as I brought him into the bathroom. It was a tight squeeze for a moment before I left him there as he began to undress.

I'd seen him nude before, but something had changed in the last few months. I could feel my face burn with the mere thought of the prospect of seeing him naked. It was difficult to explain, even more so to understand. Such feelings were foreign ground for me. I shook away my odd thoughts and wandered into the small kitchen. He would most likely be a while, so I would go and cook him something to eat for when he was finished. It was all a part of our routine.

I opened the fridge, expecting it to be near empty, but I was pleasantly surprised to find groceries still inside of the stainless steel box. Fresh chicken, green and red peppers, as well as some left over ginger sauce caught my attention as I scanned the contents of the large refrigerator. I pulled the items out, smelling the sauce to make sure it was still safe to use. It smelled alright, so I began to prepare the meal. I chopped the peppers and chicken, frying them together with the sauce, quickly throwing some rice into the rice cooker before finishing with the chicken and peppers in the ginger sauce. As I stood, stirring the sauce, I became lost in my own thoughts once more.

I found myself imagining that this was not a routine that happened only because of Naruto's hardheadedness, but because this was our routine, just the two of us. I imagined that we were living together under his roof and it was my turn to cook dinner for the evening. I hummed softly as I pictured the blond watching me as I laid across from him in his bed. His lips would be wet and he'd move ever so smoothly closer and his lips would be so close to pressing against my own. I closed my eyes. I could almost feel them against mine.

Reality chose that moment to come crashing back down on me angrily as the hissing of the rice in the cooker broke into my daydream. I shook my head with a heavy sigh and set about finishing the food. Those kinds of thoughts had been becoming more and more frequent, flitting through my mind unexpectedly. I was beginning to fear that I might have been 'falling for' Naruto as girls always seemed to put it. Was it normal to imagine untrue things when one fell in love?

Did everyone imagine the same types of things that I did? Did they imagine kissing like I did? Had they all ached when the person they cared for was in pain? Had they all felt the uncomfortable fluttering in their abdomens when they got too close to their precious person? I had become so incredibly confused. I had no clue as to what the emotion was, never having experienced many emotions at all. How did one know if they were in love? Did Naruto feel like I did for him, for Sasuke?

I didn't want him to. I hoped it wasn't true, mostly because I wanted, wished that he'd feel that way for me. Sasuke didn't deserve anything so precious as Naruto. I swallowed hard as I felt nauseous. I despised the Uchiha and I didn't even know him. All I knew was that he was hurting the one that I loved. And I hated him for it.

I shoved the thoughts to the farthest recesses of my mind and scooped rice into a bowl and poured the sauce over it. I set it on the low table in front of the old sofa in the living room along with a pair of chopsticks. I was sure that Naruto wouldn't be too much longer.

~What will bring me home?  
What will make me stay? Stay  
What will bring me home?  
What will make me stay? Stay  
Well I don't know  
I don't know who-ooh  
I don't know  
I don't know who-ooh~

(Naruto POV)

I stared at my reflection in the fogged mirror. I looked like shit. My eyes were blank, bruised bags laying beneath the glassy cerulean orbs, lips set in a grim line, dull blond locks tousled haphazardly, and a far too thin body. I wanted to gag, turning away from the person staring back at me from the mirror. I wondered idly how anyone could stand to see me like that. How could Sai stand me?

Sai... The very thought of him made me feel like I was betraying Sasuke, like somehow I was being unfaithful to him or something. It wasn't like I had done anything with Sai, but I still felt like I was doing something wrong. It was just so hard to be alone. Sai was there and Sasuke was not. What was I supposed to do? Sai took care of me, dressing my wounds, never complaining when I was being irrational or surly. He listened, but didn't judge; he didn't say a word. I think he understood more than he let on.

I didn't understand why he was always so willing to help me. I really didn't comprehend what he wanted in return. He hadn't asked for anything yet and I felt uneasy, like he was maybe just biding his time. We were too easily becoming used to the routine. I already knew what he would be doing when I went out to the living room. He'd have set out a meal for me and he'd be sitting on the couch with a comb in his hand waiting to brush the tangles out of my mussed hair. And he wouldn't say a thing. He'd just silently watch me while I ate the food he'd cooked and he'd tend to my hair while I was eating. Then, after I was finished, he'd put me to bed and tidy my apartment. He'd clean the dishes and write a list of groceries that I needed. I'd be asleep before he ever let himself out for the night, locking the door behind himself.

Then we would repeat it all over again the next day and the day after until something like a mission interrupted our routine. I knew that something had to give, I couldn't keep up the charade. It was like he was forcing me to fall in love with him, even if he didn't realize that he was doing it at all. I loved Sasuke; I couldn't afford to give my heart away again to someone else, loving one raven was enough. Sai was just making things more difficult for me, making me think about him constantly, wanting him and I was so close to betraying Sasuke. But the worst part of the whole ordeal was that I couldn't bring myself to push Sai away. I didn't want to be alone anymore and he never asked questions like the others would. He never lectured or yelled or told me how stupid I was for loving the cold bastard Uchiha, not that anyone else knew about him and I. Sai was so easy to be around, at least now that he had begun gaining emotions.

Kami knew how sorely I wanted to just throw caution to the wind and let Sai have Sasuke's place in my heart. Oh how I had begun to want the pale ANBU to make me forget the stupid Uchiha. I was beginning to wonder just what it would be like to be with Sai, to really be with him, to let him make love to me. Would he be rough and rushed like Sasuke had been? Would he fumble and push or would he be gentle or maybe detached? What would his kisses feel like on my flesh? What would my name sound like on his lips when he was inside of me?

I wanted to know the answers to the questions more and more as the time went by, time I spent with the quiet ANBU. The more time I spent in Sai's company, the more I wondered about it and desired it. I wanted him to do the things I thought about. I wanted him to kiss me and take me. Like right then, when he was putting me to bed, I wished that he'd lean in close and I'd pull him onto the bed with me, into the sheets that I'd once shared with the Uchiha and Kami, but I wanted to ask him to stay the night, to never leave me. But it just wasn't to be done.

I heaved a sigh, my exhausted body protesting even the slightest movements. My ribs ached dully, radiating pain through my side and chest, but the pain was already receding, the fox doing its job. My heart throbbed, but it was a pain that the fox could not relieve. I knew that it was awful for me to feel the way that I did then, wanting Sai to replace the man in my heart. I hadn't been with Sasuke in nearly four years and Sai was always around. How could I be expected to be in so much pain and emotional despair and survive? I needed something, someone to keep me alive and Sasuke was nowhere in sight.

I exhaled, letting the moist air out of my tired lungs completely and cleared my mind as best I could before exiting the bathroom. It was time to face Sai.

Sure enough, when I made my way into the small living room, he was right where I knew he'd be, sitting on the olive green sofa, staring at nothing, a brush dangling from his loose grip and there was a steaming bowl of food set out on the coffee table. The smell of it made my mouth water, but I stood still. Sai hadn't seemed to notice that I was there at first. I studied him briefly. The pale man sitting silently on my couch was such a mystery.

I'd often wondered what he had been like as a child. He'd always been in Konoha, but he'd never been at the academy, never in town. I'd never glimpsed him or met him before. I wondered if he had always been so quiet? Was he always without emotion? What were his parents like? How had he started drawing? There were so many things that I didn't know about him, but I wanted to. I wanted to know everything about him.

I shook my head , trying to clear the unfaithful thoughts from my mind. Why did it have to be so hard? Everything had become so complicated. I loved Sasuke, but I was falling for a whole other raven. And I was having an astonishingly difficult time stopping it from happening. I was like a drowning man. Why couldn't I have met Sai before Sasuke, fallen in love with him first?

Sai finally turned to gaze at me, his dark eyes so similar to another pair of eyes, peered at me warmly. I swallowed and moved awkwardly to sit next to him before sliding to the cool wood of the floor and picking up the bowl and chopsticks. Sai sidled up behind me, already reaching to brush the stubborn knots from my hair gently. I ate silently, enjoying the feel of his fingers in the messy blond strands. He didn't speak as usual. I smiled in spite of myself at the utter familiarity of the whole situation.

Then things changed, deviating from the usual routine. Sai's hands traveled from my head to my taught shoulders, massaging the tightness from them expertly. I let my head lull back against his crossed legs, the soft skin rubbing against my neck. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to relax for once.

After a few moments of quiet, there was an unexpected and entirely too pleasant pressure on my lips. My eyes shot open, meeting with the sight of Sai hovering above me, his pale pink lips just centimeters from my own. I knew instantly what the pressure had been. I moved more reluctantly than I cared to admit.

I stood up as though I was moving in slow motion and tried to stare at him incredulously. He just stared right back, waiting for me to speak, offering me no explanation for what he'd just done. I breathed several deep breaths before I could get my mouth to work properly, words eluding my tongue.

"You-You kissed me!" I finally managed to spit out rather lamely. Sai was so graceful and so quick as he came to stand in front of me.

"Yes," he agreed in his ever calm voice. I gaped at him. He moved closer and for some reason, I did not step back away from his approach. His hand reached for me, his fingertips soft on my jaw. "And I am going to do so again," he informed me as he closed what little distance remained between us.

My eyes closed of their own accord as he joined our lips once more, his hands pulling me in closer, my body flush against his. And he smelled so good and he tasted like snow and danger all at once. And I wanted him more than I had wanted anything in a long, long while.

And my mind was telling me to say 'no', to shove him away and tell him we couldn't. 'What about Sasuke?' a little voice in the back of my mind was asking. My body heated to the pale ANBU's touch, but my head screamed that I was betraying the one I loved. The Uchiha had been the only one in my heart for so long, but Sai had somehow managed to push his way in whether I had wanted him to or not.

~Everything in my body says, "Not tonight"  
Everything in my body says, "No"  
Everything in my body says, "Not tonight"  
Everything in my body says, "No"~

Tears welled up behind my closed eyelids, salty liquid clinging to my eyelashes as my arms wound around Sai's slim neck. I was so very lonely and my heart ached so awfully and my body burned with want. Human contact had always been a desire I was denied as a child and even as a teenager, but there was Sai, ready and willing to touch me, no disgust in his eyes or his movements and I wasn't going to stop him, my body craving what it had been deprived for more than half of my life. I knew I was being unfaithful to Sasuke. I'd promised myself that I would wait for him to return, but I just couldn't help, but want Sai. I let him kiss me and I opened my mouth to him.

We ended up in my bedroom on the large bed (one luxury I had allowed myself) before I knew what had occurred and my shirt had disappeared as if I hadn't even been wearing one. Everything was so warm. It felt so wonderful after I'd been cold for so very long. I cried, but I couldn't stop. I wanted what Sai was offering. I needed to be alive again. I needed to be free, to breathe easy for just a little while. Sai pressed me to the navy blue sheets eagerly, his too soft lips on my jawline, my neck, my collarbone and I sobbed.

Then as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. Sai was gone, standing at least a foot away from the bed and me. I looked at him in confused hurt. I didn't understand what he was doing, why he was leaving me. "Naruto, I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again," he apologized, his normally white cheeks reddened with embarrassment and his voice was so low that I could barely hear his words, his ebony eyes downcast. Then he was turning away as if to leave, his hand already reaching for the handle of the door. Then it struck me; he was going to leave, just like Sasuke had left me.

The look of honest lust and obvious love in his onyx irises killed me and before I could stop myself, I was pulling him by his slim wrist right back into the bed with me. Then we were kissing once again. His mouth was so hot and so soft and his kisses so filled with emotion, more than any he had ever shown before and I thought that I might drown in them.

And I was reminded that he was not Sasuke, could never be the Uchiha and I didn't want him to be, never wanted him to be. Sai was so gentle and calm, like water. He kissed every bit of my tanned skin that he could reach and he undressed me as though I might have been made of porcelain. His hands whispered over my exposed flesh like he was afraid to touch me for fear of shattering me as his tongue trailed languidly over my chest and then my abdomen, dipping into my navel before moving on to more intimate areas.

His mouth on my penis made me jolt in shock. It had been a lengthy period since it had last been touched at all. I hadn't even masturbated in months. I didn't even notice when he lost his own clothing, my mind too fogged with lust and pleasure to really pay much attention to the finer details. I didn't remember later where the oil had come from or when I started moaning for him. I didn't recall when his fingers entered me for the first time or how long it took to stretch me. I vaguely remembered the soft encouragement from him as he thrust them in and out, but that was about all.

And then it came time for the real thing. Sai was a lover and it couldn't be just sex with him, could never be just meaningless sex between us. I knew it and he knew it. Things could never be the same once he had been inside me. The routine would be broken and a new one started. I knew that he wouldn't be able to let me go. And I didn't think that I could let him go either.

And he was whispering to me desperately, asking me permission, giving me a chance to back out, knowing full well what would happen if we went through with it. And I pleaded for it, for him to take me, use me, love me. And he was so careful when he pushed inside, filling me and it was all heat. I cried just like I had the first time and I gasped, wanting him. He breathed heavily, quiet as always, so dependable and predictable. And it was bliss.

Sai waited an eternity to move in me, letting me get used to the feel of him. He didn't complain when I left marks on his back and he didn't swear or tell me how tight I was. He just breathed and watched me, keeping as much of his weight off of me as possible. He was so considerate. It was funny to think that only a year ago, he had been such an asshole. I smiled at him genuinely and he smiled back before thrusting, our eyes locked.

Making love with Sai was nothing like making love with Sasuke. Sai was gentle and intense, Sasuke was eager and passionate. Sai was water and Sasuke was fire and it suited them each so well. I came with a shameful cry and Sai wasn't far behind with a nearly inaudible exhale of my name upon his lips. After, sleep was inevitable, our limbs too tired for motion and our eyes too heavy to keep from closing. Sai was around me, his scent on me and his taste in my mouth. And for once Sasuke was forgotten. The morning after held the promise of being the most pleasant and difficult morning I'd had in a very long while, but wasn't waking up in the warmth of someone's arms worth it?

~What will bring me home  
What will make me stay, stay  
What will bring me home  
What will make me stay, stay  
Well I don't know  
I don't know who-ooh  
I don't know  
I don't know who-ooh~

TBC...

Hope you all enjoyed. Guess who comes back in the next installment... .


	2. Two: The Ruining of the Raven

Bringing Life to the Fox

Two: The Ruining of the Raven

Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Sai/Naruto

Warnings: Lemon, yaoi, swearing, angst, violence, some oocness, waff, etc. Don't like, then why are you still reading?

~Lyrics~ Song called "My World" by Sr-71

************************************************************************************************************************

Naruto stopped searching after that first night in Sai's arms. Sasuke became nothing more than a faded memory and even when Jaraiya brought word and even after the Toad Sannin's death when ANBU reports came of Itachi's death by his younger brother's hands, Naruto remained unmoved. Sai was his everything now. He became set in his belief that Sasuke would never be returning, not to the village and not to him. In fact, he wasn't even sure he would want Sasuke to return now after so long, after he'd finally given up on him.

His days were filled with new missions and free time spent with friends and his nights were spent in the arms of the deadly ANBU turned team seven member. The others never really seemed to ask or even notice the changes in him, or perhaps they did, but they didn't mention it, happy to have Naruto back to his old self once more. Even Sakura had given up on Sasuke, finally giving Lee his chance to woo her, and woo her he did. Through the mere four months that Naruto and Sai nurtured their newly founded relationship, Sasuke seemed to fade from everyone's mind, almost like he had never existed at all, as if Sai had always been in his place and the space that Sasuke had once occupied was filled with someone new. And then the day came when that new, peaceful world crashed down around them all; the day that Sasuke returned.

~The fastest man in the world, fast asleep at the wheel

Nobody wants to be alone, so how did I get here?

When I look at you, I see him staring through

Awake and a smile, 'cause he's been inside of you

Is he all the things you tried to change me into?

Is he everything to you?~

(Sasuke POV)

The streets were quiet, dead really. They were deserted, not even the merchants had woken yet to prepare their goods for sale. I walked, shuffled through the dusty roads, so different from the ones I remembered. Had it really been so long since then?

It was really so odd to be back again. It was as if I had never been here before, as if it wasn't the place of my birth, as if it was someone else's entirely, but I knew that it was still mine whether I felt it or not. I sighed as I pocketed my hands and the sun breached the horizon. Konoha was sure to come alive with the rising of the golden orb. And still I wandered. I knew where I wanted to go and I knew that if I stopped thinking, my feet would carry me right to that very place, the place where he was. I was certain he still lived there.

I'd returned only the night before and just now had I been allowed the freedom to seek him out. No one had mentioned him or them to me. No one had said a word about any of them, like there was some secret they were keeping from me and I wondered why that was. Had they forgotten that I had been their teammate, their friend? Didn't they think I deserved to know what had become of them? Or had I lost that privilege the day that I had left? Was that how these things worked? I shook my head; it was too lonely to think so morbidly.

It had been so long and I was so alone, not even my wayward brother still breathed to hold me to my place. Something needed to anchor me, to keep me still and I knew he could be that. He had always been there before, always smiling and laughing and touching. He had always been in my face and under my skin, then in my arms and on my lips and in my head. He'd been dangerous at the time it had begun, but things were different now, weren't they? We were older now and the world was different. The enemy was more or less annihilated. Didn't that mean we could be as we had been so far in the past? Didn't that mean we could be together? Couldn't we at least start again?

And his house wasn't so far from where I was walking and just a turn and a few more minutes wandering and I could see those sparkling eyes and that smile. And I'd know that everything was fine again. And it would be fine again, wouldn't it?

I didn't bother with the door, knowing he wouldn't even be stirring so early in the day and it would be better to surprise him anyways. I crept to the familiar sill of his window, the same curtains hanging there and the same potted plant perched where it had been years before, but it was different too. A lone sunflower was standing proudly from within the obviously new earth inside the old pot. It wasn't the same plant that had once inhabited the pot. It had once held a tomato plant, one I had gotten him. It was strange. Had the plant I'd given him died then? Or had he replaced it?

And then I looked inside and found that the plant was not the only thing he had replaced. There he was, beautiful and golden and so much older than I remembered. So different and graceful and completely gorgeous. He was moving, his head flung back in a wicked arch, sweat glistening on his bare skin and pale arms not so different from my own were guiding him. I swallowed, transfixed even as I felt my stomach dropping. And there he was, the one sent to replace me in my team, so had he replaced me in Naruto's life and in his bed. I couldn't tear my eyes away as the blond leaned down from his seated position in the ANBU's lap and he kissed him. I never dreamed it would be him. I never thought Naruto could lie to me, that he could let someone take my place.

I stayed until it ended, panting and sweating and moaning, I was sure. I needed to see, needed to know. Was it just this? Was there more? Had he really stolen my fox? And when they kissed again and the alabaster arms wrapped tightly around a heaving chest to pull him in close for sleep, I knew that it was so. I had been replaced, forgotten and removed.

And I was angry, so much so that I knocked the potted sunflower from the window sill and stormed away, disappearing in a dark puff of smoke. How could he do something like this? He'd promised, sworn that he would never forget, he'd wait for me until the end of time. Was that all a lie, an intricately woven web? I felt sick, betrayed, torn. It was never what I had expected from him. He, who had searched for me so long and had tried so hard to make me see what I now knew to be true. He'd said that revenge would solve nothing and he had been right after all. Killing Itachi had been a waste, especially once I had torn the conspiracies of my world wide open. I'd killed my first innocent and I had no doubt that the sick feeling would never leave the pit of my stomach. And to bear my name, Uchiha, was an embarrassment, a disgrace, but none of them knew that; he certainly didn't know that.

I was angry enough to throw things, furniture and glassware falling victim to my jealous rage. How dare that poorly fabricated version of me take what was rightfully mine?! How dare he act as though he deserved something as precious as my Naruto?! I didn't know how to accept what I'd seen, how to cope with what was now ordinary. I didn't know how long they had been together, how long ago Naruto had forgotten me. I didn't know who had started it or how serious it was, but it didn't matter, not really, because it didn't change the fact that he wasn't with me. And that was just not okay with me. I had to have him back.

~Does he make you high, make you real?

Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?

Love is all around you, your universe is full

But in my world, there is only you

I can still find the smell

On my clothes and skin

I can still see your face, when you're sleeping next to him

Is he all the things you, tried to change me into?

Tell me does he…~

In my home, I tore through closets filled with clothing that had been meant for me when I was still just a preteen, throwing the useless garments around recklessly. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just venting my frustration on the helpless items I had kept in my house when I was barely thirteen. It was all a waste anyways, useless to me now. The pictures, scrolls, books, clothes, drawings he'd given me, gifts he'd made or bought for me for one occasion or another. It was all worthless. He wasn't with me. None of it mattered at all, not anymore.

Tears stung my eyes and blurred my vision as I pulled the last articles from the dark recesses of the over-sized closet. I stopped abruptly, a folded, torn navy-colored shirt caught my attention. Wiping at my watering eyes with the back of one hand, I tried to focus on the item. It was the one I had been wearing when we had fought against that transvestite and the bandaged guy. I didn't care to remember their names. It wasn't important. There had been only one part of that memory that held any importance at all and that was the feel of Naruto's arms around me, his tears moistening my shirt.

I buried my face in the ruined material of the shirt, the smell of rain and him filling my nostrils. The scent was spicy and intoxicating mixing with the cooler remnants of the odor of rain. I don't know how long I knelt there, breathing in the smell of him from a shirt I hadn't seen let alone been able to fit into in years. It was sickeningly pathetic, but I couldn't stop myself. Thank Kami Orochimaru had never realized my weakness for the blond demon vessel. I would never have been able to refuse anything if he had threatened the other boy.

I sighed and rubbed my face with both hands letting the shirt fall into my lap. I had no idea what to do or how to possibly begin winning him back. We didn't even know each other anymore. There was so much to tell him and I was sure that much had taken place here as well. I was certain he'd have news for me, but I had never expected it to be that he had found someone else. Would he even tell me that much? Or would he pretend like it wasn't happening? I didn't know if I wanted to hear it either way. I didn't even know if I would be able to look at him without seeing the other pale man to whom he now belonged.

I tucked the shirt under my pillow and threw most of the articles into a large box before heaving it into an empty room, one of many that the house had. If I wanted, I would never have to look at the box again. I wasn't sure yet whether I ever would look at it again or not. It didn't matter all that much anyways. I went to prepare plans for winning back the love of my life.

~ Does he make you high, make you real?

Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?

Love is all around you, your universe is full

But in my world, there is only you~

I spent a lot of time observing them, avoiding everyone as much as I could. I didn't want to speak with anyone but him and yet I was afraid to hear what he might have to say to me. So I avoided all of them, but I watched him, seeing how he was with them and him, the other who had taken my place. I could feel the envy, the bitter jealousy boiling through my veins bringing out the sharingan too easily for my liking. Naruto was happy with him, that much was clear and it hurt to see him happy with someone other than me. He was supposed to wake up next to me and walk with me to Ichiraku's and laugh at my disgusted expressions when he ate ten plus bowls of ramen. He wasn't supposed to look at someone else the way he had looked at me; he wasn't supposed to hold anyone else's hand or kiss anyone else's lips. It was supposed to be me. It had always been me.

I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, Naruto had been lonely enough to seek the comfort of another and then I feel guilt wash over me because if that is the case, the sole reason that he is with the other raven-haired shinobi, then it is my own fault. I was the one who couldn't change, who couldn't give up the desire for revenge on a brother who I couldn't understand. I was the one who went and made myself a missing nin for years, traveling around with perverts and murderers. And he had tried. He had tried so hard to convince me not to go, to change, to give up the lost cause. I had been the one to refuse him, to hurt him and leave him behind.

I know now that he had only meant to be with me. If I had only offered to bring him with me, he would still be with me now. If I hadn't been so selfish, so spoiled, he would never have had the chance to betray me. Did that mean that I was actually the one who had betrayed him? That wasn't right. He had promised to wait for me after all and he hadn't kept his word. I had kept mine, never talking on another, always thinking of him, remembering the taste of him, the scent of his skin, the sound of his voice, the color of his eyes in the sunshine. I had waited years to return to him. Had it been too much for him?

~ I've had enough of fears, you let them out

Now I wrap myself around you

Like a blanket full of doubt

The darkness grows!

The sunlight stings!

He's your everything

Does he make you high, make you real?

Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?

Love is all around you, your universe is full

But in my world, there is only you~

I'd had enough by the end of the month. I couldn't bring myself to leave my house, not unless it was absolutely necessary. I stopped eating as often and I didn't go out into the yard on the off chance that I might have to see the two of them together. I had convinced myself that it was hopeless. They were so happy together and Naruto had hardly even made the effort to see me. He'd only come around twice at which point I hid and refused to answer the door. It was cowardly and pathetic, not to mention utterly immature, but I couldn't see him. I couldn't see the warmth in his eyes and know that it wasn't for me.

And so I hid, shying away from the sunlight that reminded me of him and my nights were filled with memories, dreams of him, his eyes, his flesh, his hair. And nightmares, the ones where it wasn't me that held him, where he laughed at me and called me pathetic. I wanted my Naruto back. I needed him. It was so dark in my head without him, so quiet and lonely. And my bed was so cold that I slept on the couch in my living room, using the navy blue shirt as a security blanket.

It didn't help that I was still under investigation and wouldn't be allowed back to shinobi status for another two months. All I had was time; time to think of him, to see them together, to remember what I had given up, to know that he wasn't mine anymore. It was destroying me. I couldn't sleep or eat by the end of the month. I couldn't leave my house. I couldn't even get up most days. It was disgusting and I didn't know how to stop. The dark pit that I had dug for myself was so comfortable and I was incapable of escaping it. And all because He had made someone else the center of his universe.

I was hardly more than a blip on his radar nowadays, not that I was doing a good job of making myself more than that. I was too scared to hear what he might have to say and at the same time I desperately wanted to hear it. I wanted to hear his voice, bask in the richness of it. It was borderlining on obsession. All I thought about was him. If I thought about the way they were together, i pissed myself off, and I'd ruin things; my walls, my clothes, my dishware, picture frames, the mirrors in the bathrooms, the cupboards in the kitchen, and the electrical devices. All of them had fallen victim to my seething jealousy and growing bitterness.

And then if I thought about who to blame and come back with the same answer every time; myself, the guilt was all encompassing. I would feel sick thinking about it, knowing that I had killed it, what we had shared. I had obliterated it beyond repair. I'd removed him from my life, but expected him to wait for me to decide to return to him and pull him back into my life once again. I had expected him to wait years!

If he had done something like that to me, I couldn't say honestly whether or not I wouldn't have done the same as what he had done. It was a way to live, to move on. Everyone needed comfort and relief. Everyone needed to vent and where was I when he needed me?

And then the anger would surface again, thinking about the promises he had made, knowing that I had actually kept mine and he hadn't. And then he came around again. I hid, but it didn't matter because I wasn't the only one fed up. He broke into my house, tore the door right off really. And I was there, just standing there, my hair greasy and flat and wearing the same clothes I'd had on for the past three days. Broken shards of plates and glasses swept haphazardly into corners and shredded papers and furniture debris were strewn about and I was embarrassed.

His eyes were angry and wide as he took in my appearance and the ruins of my home. He looked disgusted for a moment and I could see his fists clenching, his eyes bleeding to violet , maroon, and then finally red. And then he opened his mouth and everything became slow, time moving sluggishly as I heard him speaking.

"You've been avoiding me teme."

~You make me high! You make me real!

You make me cry! Now you know the way I feel

Love is all around you, your universe is full

But in my world, there is only you ~

He was more than angry. He was furious. I didn't reply to him and when it appeared that I was almost ignoring him, he moved, stalking closer to me and shoving me hard against a wall, making dust fall from the already cracked drywall. I merely swallowed. He was so close to me. I couldn't stop glancing at his lips. They were just as rosy as I remembered and they were oh so tempting and what I wouldn't give to have kissed him. And so I did.

My arms pulled at him, crushing our chests against one another. When did he get so muscular? And it felt like coming home until he punched me right in the jaw making my vision double and gray on the sides. I nearly lost my footing, but leaned back against the wall behind me instead. He glared at me and I stared at him. His face was flushed. He'd liked it. I knew by the glint in his eyes, but he had shoved me away. Was he so faithful to the other?

He wiped his lips roughly with the back of his hand and watched me. I wanted to kiss him again. "Don't," He warned dangerously as I took a few stumbling steps forwards towards him.

"Why not? Is it because of him?" I asked bitterly, my mind returning with his simple command.

"You- You know?" he looked confused and a little guilty and I felt a swell of bitter pride at making him hurt.

"Of course I know usuratonkachi. I SAW the two of you," I spat venomously, the memory of it still fresh in my mind even after a month.

"When?" he looked so bewildered as if I'd just struck him. His shoulders slumped and his head bowed.

"When I first returned, when I went to see the only person who still mattered to me, the one I had waited for, the one I had come back for. And what should I see, but my lover in the lap of another, riding him like some kind of whore in heat. You didn't even sense me there outside your window, at least some things never change. You're still a piss poor shinobi, ne dobe?" I looked away from him then, tears burning in my eyes. I was being awful, I knew, but I couldn't stop the poison that throbbed on my tongue. I was so upset, so bitter and afraid. And every bit of what I feared was coming true. He'd really replaced me.

He slapped me then, my head jerking to the side with impact. He didn't punch me, but slapped me. I blinked several times before looking back at him. His cheeks were wet and his eyes were hard, but glassy with tears that he seemed to be holding back forcefully.

"How dare you?! You-- You think you can just come back here after what, five years?! You just assume you can waltz back into my life and pick up where we left off?! You fucking inconsiderate, spoiled prick! You have no idea what it was like!" The pitch of his voice got higher with every word he yelled and I shrank back into the wall further and further, feeling the guilt churning in the bottom of my stomach.

"You don't know either dobe. You are everything to me. All I thought of was you. You are the only thing that matters to me anymore. I was mistaken to leave you. I was so tired and the thought of being with you again was what brought me back to Konoha in the first place. Only you, dobe, only you," I managed to choke out as tears fell. I hadn't meant to let them out, but it was too much, remembering all the things I'd done, killing my brother who's only crime was protecting his village and roaming around with a pack of killers, plotting revenge. I sickened myself.

"You're selfish and you lie! You never thought of me. All you ever thought of was you. Your revenge, your power, your rage, your love, your feelings, you, you, YOU! Never me."

And it was true.

TBC...

so there it is for the second installment. I am so sorry for the monumental delay, but I have had a billion things going on. Between work and university, I have been swamped and every time I do have a bit of free time, I am too dead to even attempt to write. I have finally managed to work myself up to writing this chapter and I will be updating some other fics as well, probably my Gundam Wing fic "Wayward Souls" and possibly "Time is All We Need."

Anyways, please feed the review demon on your way out. It is rather ravenous and I would love to know how everyone likes the ficcy so far. Actually I want to know who you think Naruto should end up with. I love Sai and Sasuke equally and it is so hard to write this fic because I want them all to be happy, but I don't want them to be with other characters... I am so picky and indecisive, so any feedback would be appreciated. I am your slave.

Ja!


	3. Three: Never to Forget, Always to Regret

Bringing Life to the Fox

Three: Never to Forget, Always to Regret

Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Sai/Naruto

Warnings: Lemon, yaoi, swearing, angst, violence, some oocness, waff, etc. I'm not saying it again, you should know by now what this story entails. -__- If you don't know by now, then there is no help for you.

~lyrics~ Song is called 'Another Heart Calls' by The All-American Rejects featuring The Pierces.

*************************************************************************************************************

~Do you remember when we didn't care

We were just two kids that took the moment when it was there

Do you remember you at all

Another heart calls ~

(Naruto)

Sasuke looked as if I'd punched him. His mouth moved as if he might say something, but nothing came out as he stood there in front of me. I could feel the tears lingering in my eyes, burning behind my eyelashes and I wanted to swipe at them, but I didn't, just standing stock still and watching him. Finally he managed to reply.

"Naruto, I—I was young then, we both were. We didn't know better. I didn't know better. We were just kids. I was just a kid and I was all alone and you were there. You were my best friend, the only one I could trust, the only one who understood. You remember don't you?"

I shook my head, scoffing. "Of course I remember Sasuke. I remember loving you, letting you in, letting myself believe that we could be together, that I would never have to be alone again and then you left me. You just walked away. You didn't even think to bring me along with you."

He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply before he spoke again. "I couldn't. I had to do it on my own. I was-"

"Of course you had to do it on your own, just like everything else. Well maybe you should learn to fuck yourself too, then you wouldn't be so hard-pressed to have me back!" I shouted. He was so selfish, so completely self-centered. Even now, he couldn't think of anyone but himself. I hated him for it. And at the same time I wanted him to kiss me again. His lips had been so familiar on mine.

I couldn't give into the desire though; I couldn't betray Sai that way. He had waited so long for me. He had been there for me, cared for me, loved me and he hadn't left me. At the same time my heart was screaming that I had been Sasuke's first, not Sai's. But I couldn't go back, could I? I loved Sai too. It wouldn't be fair to him if I went back to Sasuke. But was it fair to ignore my heart. I couldn't have them both, could I?

I shook my head even before the thought had a chance to seed itself into my brain. It was absurd, ludicrous. Of course I couldn't have them both. That was utter nonsense. It wouldn't be right. Besides, Sai and Sasuke despised each other. How could I expect them to agree to sharing me? It was madness. I must have been really messed up since Sasuke had returned. Maybe I was over tired...

Sasuke looked shocked at the profanity I had shouted at him. He deserved it. He was a selfish jerk after all. He had broken my heart when I was hardly old enough to understand what it meant.

~Yeah, I remember when we stole the night

We'd lie awake but dreaming

'til the sun would wash the sky

Just as soon as I see you

But didn't I, but didn't I tell you

As deep as I need you,

You wanna leave it all ~

"I remember it all Sasuke, the nights we spent staring at the stars until the sun rose, the way the lights reflected in your eyes. I remember what your arms felt like around me, the sound of your voice when you said you loved me. I remember every bit of it. I also remember when you left me for dead, you shit. You built me up, let me believe in you, in us, and then you knocked me down so hard I couldn't get back up. You have no idea how broken you left me," I continued on bitterly, Sasuke looking to the floor guiltily.

"I didn't, I never meant to hurt you so badly Naruto. You have to believe me. I just-- I needed to know the truth. Itachi, he--" he stopped abruptly, choking on his words. So he had figured it out. He had finally found the truth. His brother hadn't been some sort of cold-blooded killer, but had really been a scapegoat for his country. I shook my head, watching him struggle with the truth of his own words. It must have been hard to deal with knowing that he had killed an innocent man, his own flesh and blood. It must have been tearing him apart.

And I should have felt pity for him, but I felt satisfied. If he had only stayed here with me, he never would have done it. He never would have went after Itachi, never would have taken his life. He could have known the truth and never killed the one person who had protected him unconditionally. It was a sick satisfaction, but I felt it regardless of its morality.

I leaned against a crumbling wall, arms across my chest and tears dried on my cheeks. I sighed. "You know Sasuke, I never understood why you needed to know so badly. But I think I understand now. Yo see, I couldn't understand you then, but I do now because, well, I needed to know why you left me, I needed to bring you back. I searched for you for years, but you were always a step ahead of me. I nearly killed myself trying to reach you, but your back was to me, always. Sai saved me from myself and from you."

I was pinned against the wall before I knew what had happened, dust from the cracked wall shivering around us. Sharingan red eyes glared into my face, a hard forearm pressed across my chest. "Don't talk about him," he warned dangerously.

I felt my own anger rising heatedly and I shoved him away from me. "Why not? He loves me and he'll never leave me, not like you!"

He stumbled back a few steps at my outburst. The tears were back again, trailing down my face. I wiped at them furiously, moving towards his door. I couldn't stand to be near him anymore, to see his face and hear his voice. I needed to get away from him. It was suffocating me. I fled, my feet pounding against the wet ground. When had it started raining?

~What can I do?

Say it's true

Or everything that matters breaks in two

Say it's true

I'll never ask for anyone but you

Talk to me

I'm throwing myself in front of you

This could be the last mistake

That I would ever wanna do

Yeah all I ever do is give it's time you see my point of view ~

(Sasuke)

I was in shock for several seconds after Naruto ran from my house. I couldn't leave it like that. I couldn't let him think that he had meant so little to me, so I followed after him, ignoring the rain as it pattered against my skin and clothing. It didn't matter. I ran faster than I ever had in my entire life, rounding a corner to see him on the wooden bridge leading out of the Uchiha district. I cursed as I flew towards him.

"Naruto!"

He turned to look at me and I couldn't tell if he was crying, the rain drowning out whatever tears there might have been. How many times had he cried over me? How long had he pined for me, killing himself slowly? How had I ever thought that I could justify leaving him? What had I thought I could say to make it alright?

"Why are you doing this? Let me go," his voice was hardly more than a whisper and I had to strain to hear it over the rain. I looked down at my hands. I wasn't holding him.

I reached for him and he shied away. "Naruto please, I'll do anything. What can I do to make you see? Tell me how to make this better?"

"Let me go," He said, eyes brimming with the promise of more tears. "If you love me like you say you do, let me free."

I took a step back. I couldn't do that. I couldn't let him go. I couldn't let him be with someone who wasn't me. How could I?

"I—I can't," I said softly, shaking my head, hand reaching to touch him, caress him, feel him. He moved away from my touch again, wincing as if it was painful to do so. "Do you want to be faithful to him so much that you shy away from my touch when you obviously want it?" I asked, knowing what kind of mistake I could be making by saying something like that. I didn't care.

His eyes opened wide as he looked at me, his cheeks coloring, proving my assumption correct. He did want it. His jaw clenched for a moment before he spoke. "Shut up, just shut up! Why did you have to come back here and ruin everything. I was just starting to forget you, to leave you in the past where you belong. And now you're back and ripping my new world to shreds. I gave you everything Sasuke, every part of me and you just took it like it was deserved and you never gave anything back. Nothing but empty promises and lies. And I believed them." The sound of his sorrowed voice cracking made my heart ache and I wanted to hold him so badly that I could no longer restrain myself, thrusting myself forward and grabbing ahold of him tightly, wrapping arms around his thin, but lean form, feeling his quivering sobs, my hand burying in his soaking hair.

~Just as soon as I see you

But didn't I, but didn't I tell you

As deep as I need you,

You wanna leave it all

What can I do?

Say it's true

Or everything that matters breaks in two

Say it's true

I'll never ask for anyone but you

But I know what you want is to figure it out

And god knows I do too

What can I do?

Say it's true

I'll never ask for anyone but you~

He stiffened for several seconds. I closed my eyes, preparing for the rejection, the blow that was sure to follow, but it never came. Warm arms nearly squeezed the oxygen from me as he pulled me in tightly. It was so familiar, so real. I breathed in the scent of him and the rain, remembering the tattered shirt beneath my pillow at home. It was just the same scent.

The embrace was too much, I couldn't hold anything back anymore. I pulled his head back, crushing my mouth to his roughly, our lips sliding together wetly with the moistness of the rain. He kissed me back, tentatively at first and then with more fervor, like he was remembering.

"How could you ever forget me?" I murmured against his lips, hugging him as close as I could. I felt him moving against me, shoulders shifting and I couldn't tell if he was laughing or crying. Maybe it was both, but his lips didn't stop seeking mine, not that I minded in the slightest. I held him close as I used a transportation jutsu to teleport us back to my home.

I pulled him up the stairs towards my room, leading him into the familiar territory. We'd spent so much time here when we were young. He hissed as I nipped at his neck, pushing him against the wall before peeling off his shirt and my own. I marked him all along his chest and his neck, leaving a trail. I smiled as I looked at my handiwork, the fox already making the marks fade. I glared, moving to make more as I pushed him towards the bed.

He let me do it, breathing becoming more and more labored as I kissed him and lapped at his skin. It was so familiar, so intoxicating. Had it really been so long since we had last been together?I managed to maneuver him towards the bed and unclasp his pants before pulling them and his undergarments to the floor. He really had grown. I swallowed, staring at his now nude form as he stood bare before me. I reached to pull my own pants off, but he stopped me, unzipping them himself and letting me shimmy out of them.

He laid himself out on the bed, just like he had before, so comfortable when he was clearly nervous. I smiled at him, letting my gaze rake over him, memorizing him. He was beautiful. I crawled over him, kissing him again. A strange burning in my chest made me stop and look into his eyes.

"Say it," I commanded softly. He stared at me for a long moment silently.

"Say it," I repeated when he stayed silent. He closed his eyes.

"Naruto, say it."

"I love you Sasuke." And his eyes met mine again, showing the truth of the words. I attacked his mouth then, pouring all the pent up passion for him into it. My hands were eager as the roamed over him. I needed to feel every part of him, every piece of that silkily unblemished flesh. He moaned beneath me, legs wrapping around my hips, pulling me in.

My erection pressed dangerously close to his entrance. "Naruto?" I questioned. I didn't want to hurt him. He just watched me from under heavy lashes.

"Do it. You can't be anyone but you Sasuke and I know you." He was thinking of our past times together. Had I ever thought of his pain then? Maybe not, but the fox made it easier for him. He never complained then. A thought struck me; was he comparing me to the other? Did it matter if he was?

I swallowed and nodded, pushing forward through the stubborn resistance. He arched against me, mouth opening with the pain of my entry. I stilled myself within him, waiting. His fingers pinched at the skin of my shoulders and biceps as he twisted his eyes shut, breathing through what discomfort I caused him.

Slowly, he relaxed against me, moving his hips experimentally. I groaned as his innards squeezed my shaft. It had been far too long since I had been inside of him. The fox was already healing whatever damage I had done and Naruto was ready for more if his movements were anything to go by. I thrust into him swiftly, pulling out and repeating it.

He moaned, arching against me and meeting my thrusts, the moisture on us turning to swerat instead of remnants of rain. I hissed when his not so blunt nails left tracks down my back. His legs tightened reflexively as he pulled me deeper into his body. I kissed him fervently, brushing sweaty hair from his brow as his cerulean eyes met mine.

"Sas—ke," he managed to moan out huskily as his inner walls hugged my erection. I wedged a hand between us, stroking his neglected member slickly. He breathed heavily, mewling and arching as I thrust into him in time with my hand's movement on his shaft.

"Naruto, it was always you," I breathed into his ear. He moaned loudly and I felt stickiness coat my hand as his channel rippled around my cock. I thrust deeply, releasing my own seed into him, claiming him once again. Our breathing was ragged and hot as we separated. I wiped my hand on the bedsheets before pulling him close to me, letting his head rest on my chest.

~I'm sorry

So what?

But you don't think I've said enough

I'm sorry

I don't care

You were never there

As soon as I see you

But didn't I, but didn't I tell you

As deep as I need you

You wanna leave it all

What can I do?

Say it's true

Or everything that matters breaks in two

Say it's true

I'll never ask for anyone but you

But I know what you want is to figure it out

And God knows I do too

What can I do?

Say it's true

I'll never ask for anyone but you ~

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"This, we can't do this again," he whispered softly, sadly.

I looked at him in confusion. His eyes were glassy with tears as he looked back at me.

"No," I replied. I wouldn't let him go so easily. "I'm sorry Naruto, so sorry, but I will make this better. I promise you."

He shook his head. "It's too late for apologies. It's years too late."

"No, I'm sorry for leaving you. It was stupid. I know I can't ever take it back, but if I could I would. You can't just tell me that you love me and let me love you and then leave."

He cocked his head, "Can't I though? Or are you the only one allowed to do that? Sasuke, you were never there when I needed you. Where were you when Kyuubi nearly took over? Where were you when Sai was taking your place? Where were you when I was loving you?"

"I know. I made mistakes Naruto, we all have, but I won't let you go so easily. I won't let you be with him. He can't have you," I said seriously, vowing to myself not to allow the other raven-haired man to have my dobe. Naruto chuckled.

"In a perfect world Sasuke, all of this would work out, everything would be fine. In a perfect world, this never would have happened to start with, but this world is far from perfect and I am more than broken. The pieces don't fit anymore. The don't add up to the same picture in the end," he spoke quietly, like if his voice was too loud, everything would break, the moment would shatter. I had no doubt that it would since my heart already appeared to be.

"I thought you were never one to look at the picture before it was finished."

He snorted, "That was before the pieces got mixed up with the pieces of another puzzle."

"I won't let you. You're the only thing holding me here."

"And if you have no choice?"

"I don't care. I'll never ask for anyone but you, Naruto, no one but you."

He sighed, sitting up, pushing my arm off of him as he stood to dress. I sat up too, watching him dressing, preparing to leave. At the door, he turned to look at me.

"That's just the problem Sasuke. I can no longer say the same. You aren't the only one in my heart anymore."

~ I'll never ask for anyone but you...~

And then he was gone. I sat, staring at the door he had just left through, contemplating his words. He couldn't deny that he loved me, but there was also another. Could I love him at the same time? Could I share him if it meant that he would still be mine?

Would he still be mine?

TBC?

What did you all think of that? I know the lemon wasn't one of my best, but I assure you that there will be better ones. I've decided to meld a few ideas together. I thank everyone who gave me feedback. I will try my best to make sure the fic does not fall into meaningless smut and I hope you will all continue to read no matter what the outcome of the plot. Anyways, thanks again to all of my reviewers and I hope to hear from you all again. Ja for now!

Xander


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